(I have failed to express what I wanted to express)

I have learned a number of things about Leo.

Here is an example.

I sat with Leo and discussed some of his behavior - e.g.

A)

We were in the kitchen and he made a sexual comment about Christina. He expressed his desire to have sex with her. I cannot recall the details. But as far as I can remember, there was nothing unusual about the comment. Many boys our age make such comments.

I found the comment disgusting, but my disgust was not the result of deliberation or reflection. I am just talking about a brute psychic state with no thought behind it: a reaction.

Now, I have given some thought to this reaction. I think it might have been the result of: i) K’s past involvement with Christina and ii) Leo’s (currently rocky) relationship with K.

To explain: I think that I must have been disappointed that Leo would (ostensibly) rank his sexual desires over K’s feeliings. Of course I realize that Leo was probably just thinking out loud. Again, Leo’s expression was typical of boys our age and might have had no connection with an actual desire to engage in a sexual act (I am tentative here). It might have been nothing but a humorous comment.

Still, I was disgusted. It occurred to me that I could not blame Leo for the reaction. Leo just said something, and then I experienced a feeling of disgust. I do not think Leo could have had any grounds to believe that his comment would disgust me. Here we have a bad result that (perhaps) could not have been helped.

I expressed this to Leo.

B)

My conversations with Leo are usually like this:

Me: I do not think that is the case; X.
Leo: NO! NO! It is the case a, b, c, d,e,f,g and Y and Z and Q.
Me: But-
Leo: h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p and Q and oh yeah F and I am going to talk about O for some reason.
Me: Yet-
Leo: q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z It was nice talking to you.

And by this I mean to express that our conversations seem like a very remote semblance of a dialogue. Usually Leo will say what he wants to say (and more) while steamrolling the possibility of any input from the other party.

I do not think he does this intentionally. But I told him that it bothered me, and asked Leo not to do it anymore. Leo expressed a desire not to do this anymore.

Half an hour later Leo did just this - the steamrolling. I told him to stop. MF told him to stop. Leo said he would stop, stopped, and then started steamrolling again.

I have realized this is just what Leo does. Which is to say, as far as I can tell, this type of behavior is nothing but an impulse.

I do not know if I can blame a person for having an impulse any more than a person can blame me for having certain psychic states.